I always grew up differently from the rest around me my age, at least where I went to school it was different, weird, and maybe the odd one out. When I hit grade 1 I was already diagnosed with ADHD and had started a routine of daily medication to help me in school because I couldn’t sit still or concentrate. Over the years I had seen many doctors, taken out of french class because I just couldn’t grasp it, I was seeing special people that came to my school to help me learn better and they would do tests on me, sometimes I felt like a guinea pig because everyone just wanted to figure me out.
Around the time I had become 14 the therapist I was seeing with my parents was starting to come to a decision that I could either be bipolar or Borderline but it later was confirmed in fact diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I mean really in that time of life I don’t feel mental illness was accepted as much as it is today which is fantastic because the stigma that surrounds it is unreal and really sad. The stigma surrounding BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) has a high stigma of demonizing a person because they suffer from such an illness, and only because it’s greatly misunderstood by so many in the world because they haven’t been properly educated on the disorder.
I struggled all my life, from suicide, self harm, abusing pills, abusing alcohol, taking drugs and was promiscuous (when I moved to the City this happened). When I turned 17 I decided I was done with the life I had and where I was so I ended up doing something crazy, and stole my mother’s car, but it was only because I wanted to go into town but it turned into being thrown into CFS for half a year because I threaten to kill myself if they sent me back home where I was living. So before I was 18 I was pretty much living life the way I wanted too and became this wild child because I never once got to experience what that was like growing up where I was because I was pretty much nothing to anyone there.
I don’t really feel the need to take everyone through my life journey of what I’ve been through, and some past posts are reminders of what I also went through and that can give some idea. Let’s take this forward to being where I am now, at 28, figuring out who I really am, more than I thought I could because of life’s decisions and mystery coming upon you. I have come to realize I have far more to learn about my own illness, I thought I learned so much alone over the years but came to realize I have so much more to learn and I can’t count on the fact of doing it by myself because that’s just impossible at this point
If you look up the description of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder you will probably come out of it being a bit hesitant getting close to those that are diagnosed, but what they don’t ever mention is how caring we are of those around us because we suffer almost everyday with a ton of emotions, and we never want to see those around us hurt, we may not fully understand how to control every emotion but every emotion is the way we feel and we would never lie about that.
Spread the love, stop the stigma surrounding mental health especially Borderline Personality Disorder. You just need to be a bit more patient and a bit more understanding and then you will see how wonderful we are.