Once felt like a Woman

One night Michelle decided to get ready to go out, as she sat on the metal chair in front of her boyfriends mirror, just doing her make up like she always would. This night became a blur for Michelle as the night went on,  at this point its such a blur its a memory that’s only remembered from the horrible things that happened that she learned only a week after.

The night became a blur so fast and as Michelle woke up that morning she felt different, like something was not right but she still went out to visit with her mother. In the car ride to their destination Michelle screamed to stop the car, “Stop!!! I think I Shit myself!!!”, only to have herself & her mother lift up part of her dress to realize what had been done, luckily nothing was on the dress and the car was able to be cleaned. Michelle was confused everyday, asking and telling her boyfriend what happen, he showed no idea of what happen, why it happen and as everyone else said  “maybe you just drank to much alcohol”, but Michelle knew it wasn’t from the alcohol.

It was exactly a week later when Michelle’s boyfriend called her on the phone and had informed her that he performed anal sex on her while she was passed out drunk that weekend, and that is why what happened in her moms car did.

You can imagine one being extremely angry from hearing this, but to be told that “you were making noises”,  “you acted like you wanted it”, those were the words Michelle had to deal with and sadly believed at the time and she accepted them because she truly loved this person and didn’t want to give up because she knew no better as this was her first love.

Abuse really begins when they start to say things like “you wanted it”, “its what relationships are”, its manipulation at its finest. Never believe any words like this when it comes to sex in your relationship, you are in control of your body and NO one can do what they want because they feel ENTITLED like Michelle’s boyfriend, now ex boyfriend.

Michelle is on to a better life, and slowly healing from the years of sexual abuse she was put through without realizing it till recovery from eating disorders began.  It’s still confusing to her about what that relationship really was but in time it will be a faded memory she grew strongest from.



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