Today was my first day of the out patient program I voluntarily put myself into, and my goodness was it a hard day for me, even though I probably looked fine to those around me in the group I was surely dying inside from the thoughts running through my mind.
I think me needing to be alone tonight was in all reality a needed situation, I may have gave into ED tonight but wouldn’t I rather learn to also deal with this alone at a early stage in my recovery rather than closer to the end, I am forever grateful for my family & friends, but they won’t always be there and I will need to okay when I am alone.
Today I learned a very good lesson, and that is that even though I had a mistake when I got home from my first day of program, I learned to forgive myself and not allow it to make me sad anymore, because if I dwell on it I wont get better.
Today is okay. I made it this far.
Love the real me, xoxo